It�s the bitter taste of losing everything I�ve held so dear.� -Sarah McLachlan

�Love will stretch until it breaks...� -unknown

Chapter Ten: Fallen...Away

Hermione sat next to Ginny�s bed in the school�s hospital wing. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had arrived and were talking with Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall. Hermione was holding Ginny�s hand and rubbing it in comfort.

Hermione wasn�t sure what was wrong and the fact that those more knowledgeable than her didn�t either definitely didn�t comfort her. But at least Ginny felt warmer now, her skin was less pale and deathly.

There was something about Ginny�s condition that Hermione didn�t like. It seemed as though her friend had simply willed it to happen. They could find no indication that she had eaten something bad or had perhaps been the victim of a spell. No, it was almost as though Ginny had just decided to fall into sleep and never wake up.

Hermione looked down at the letter in her hand. It was from Harry, telling her he was leaving for America tomorrow. Or that is, later today. Hermione had spent most of the night in the hospital wing and it was now after midnight. She wondered if Harry knew Ginny had taken ill. The letter was from earlier in the day and she hadn�t gotten around to reading it. Busy with her classes and assigning homework, she hadn�t even finished reading Ron�s letter from the day before.

Hermione rubbed her eyes. She felt tired and she was on edge from the anxiety. She had always thought that Ginny was strong in spirit, stronger than even she herself was. But to see her like this... it reminded Hermione of the dark days before Voldemort was defeated, when even the strongest of them fell to the darkness.

She heard footsteps behind her and she turned to see Neville popping his head in the doorway. He looked as bad as she felt. She put her finger to her lips and pointed her head towards the huddle that was Ginny�s parents and McGonagall. Neville nodded and slipped in silently.

Hermione grabbed her wand out of her pocket and made the partition move closer to the bed, blocking them from view. She watched as Neville stared down at Ginny, his expression forlorn.

Why, he really does care about her, she thought to herself.

�Here, Neville, sit down, hold her hand.�

Neville looked shaken at the suggestion. Hermione smiled kindly at him.

�Madam Pomfrey says it helps people to know they�re being cared for while they sleep. It could be what she needs to come back to us.�

Neville nodded and swallowed painfully. Hermione watched as he tentatively reached out his hand and took Ginny�s tenderly into his. He was so gentle, as though Ginny would break with his touch that Hermione had to look away.

That should be Harry doing that, Hermione thought to herself.

Hermione wondered if Harry had written a similar letter to Ginny about leaving and that this was the reason for Ginny�s refusal to wake. But something about that didn�t make sense and even so, Hermione couldn�t imagine a letter having all that great an effect. Nor could she imagine Harry being that cruel.

This is the same Harry that left school in the middle of the night and broke Ginny�s heart we�re talking about, right Granger? The little voice in the back of Hermione�s head had decided to speak up and she frowned.

Madam Pomfrey had broken away from the Weasley�s and was coming towards the bed. Hermione stopped her and told her that Neville was going to sit with Ginny for awhile.

�Tell Professor McGonagall I have a couple of things to take care of and that I�m leaving the school grounds. I�ll try to be back by the morning�s first class.�

�But Miss Granger-�

�Tell her that I want to explore an avenue as to what caused this, whatever it is, to happen to Ginny. I�m sure she�ll understand.�

Not wanting to argue anymore, Hermione turned and slipped out of the room.

She had an idea where Harry might be spending his last night before leaving.

Lying in Ron�s old room at the Burrow, staring at the ceiling, Harry couldn�t sleep. Ron was though, he could tell by the slight snores coming from the right of him. Apparently, Hermione hadn�t broken him of that habit.

Turning so that he wouldn�t keep looking at the moonlight coming through the window, Harry forced his eyes closed and willed his body to sleep. But it was useless. He had too many worries, and leaving tomorrow was the least of them.

No word from Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had come and although George and Fred optimistically took this as a good sign (�It means they haven�t had to take her to St. Mungo�s�) Harry couldn�t shake the thought that something had gone terribly wrong.

You should be there, you idiot, the voice in his mind hissed at him.

You should have never left the school that way. Too scared to deal with her feelings, you spineless twit.

Harry opened his eyes. He had heard someone moving down below. Anxious to see if Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had returned, he got up and moved quietly to the door. Grabbing his robe, he pulled it around him and lighted his wand.

He didn�t expect it to be Hermione downstairs and didn�t expect her to be angry with him.

�What are you doing here? Is it Ginny?�

�Ah ha! I reckoned Ron would have you over for a goodbye meal. Good thing I checked here first. I almost doubted myself and went to our flat instead.�

Hermione looked around and sat down at the table. She looked expectantly at Harry.

�What�s going on, Hermione? Where�s Mr. and Mrs. Weasley? Should I go wake up-�

�No. Let them sleep. What I need to say needs to be heard by only you Harry. And Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are still at the school, looking over Ginny. She hasn�t woken up yet.�

�Still? Is she okay? What caused this? Mr. and Mrs. Weasley said she had come down with something. Was it a spell or something else?�

Hermione looked determinedly at him and folded her arms against her chest. �That�s exactly what I want to know Harry. Have you had any contact with Ginny the last few days?�

Harry blinked at his friend. �No, I haven�t since before I left. I was going to send her something today, to say goodbye, but... I er... hadn�t yet.�

This seemed to make Hermione wilt a bit and she looked troubled.

�Then I don�t know what�s wrong with her Harry. I had thought that perhaps you had sent her something to make her upset, but... I don�t know Harry. It�s almost as though she refuses to wake up. She was deathly cold when I found her and... and well, she was just like ice. It�s almost as though the life has been sucked out of her.�

Something in what Hermione said stirred a memory within him.

�She was really cold and pale? And now she won�t wake at all?�

Hermione nodded.

With dawning understanding, Harry realized that Ginny had been like that once before in her life and it had been because of Tom Riddle. Had Ginny stumbled onto something that had made her scared enough to revert back to that time?

He stood up and headed towards the stairs. Over his shoulders, he spoke to Hermione.

�I�ll be down in a second. I think I need to get to the school. I think I might be the only one who can wake her.�

Ginny could hear someone whispering to her and their voice was so soft and gentle that she felt drawn to it despite herself. She could smell cedar in the air around her and something else she couldn�t place. It was drawing her out and despite her desire to stay in the darkness that surrounded her, Ginny moved toward consciousness.

�Oh please be alright, Ginny... please be alright. I�d miss you so much. I never told you this, but I�ve always liked you Ginny, you�re so good and so right and you never make me feel bad and you have such a way of life about you, it makes me feel happy just to be near-�

Ginny slowly opened her eyes and looked at the distraught man holding her hand. Neville�s brown eyes flashed at hers, disbelief and then relief flooding his features.

�Oh you�re awake! You�re awake!�

�Mr. Longbottom,� Professor McGonagall said angrily as she stuck her head around the corner of the partition Hermione had moved earlier, �If you would please be quiet-� McGonagall�s harshness changed to amazement as she realized that Ginny was awake.

�Oh! Dear child! We were so worried about you! Madam Pomfrey, come quickly!�

A flurry of activity burst into life around her and Ginny felt hands poking her and she realized her Mum and Dad were there, both half-crying, half-laughing at her. Madam Pomfrey was clucking her tongue and looking into her eyes. Ginny pulled her head away from the bright light that was flashed in her eyes. She realized that Neville was still holding her hand. She squeezed it to let him know that she didn�t want him to let go.

�I�m fine... Mum. Dad, tell her to stop crying. I just came down with something, that�s all.�

�Yes, well, be that as it may, Miss Weasley, let Madam Pomfrey look at you first, before we take your word for it. Mr. Longbottom, please give Miss Weasley her privacy-�

�No! Neville stays,� Ginny said determinedly, and her eyes found his. �That is, if it�s okay with him?�

Neville didn�t even look at McGonagall for an okay, he just smiled at Ginny and sat down next to her again.

Fifteen minutes later and Madam Pomfrey finally concluded that Ginny was indeed, fine.

Professor McGonagall looked at Ginny with a frown. �Do you know exactly what happened to you, Miss Weasley?�

Ginny blushed and looked over at her mother and father. �I wasn�t feeling good and instead of taking some Pepper-Up or anything, I just got into bed to sleep. I just remember thinking that I didn�t want to ever wake up.�

Professor McGonagall didn�t seem to buy this answer, but it was suitable enough for now. Nodding toward the Weasley�s, she left with Madam Pomfrey, who told Ginny not to strain herself and to take the Pepper-Up potion that she had left by the bed.

Her Mum was rubbing her head and her father was smiling down at her.

�I�m really fine you two, please go home. I�m sorry to have caused such a bother. Next time I�ll have to remember to look after myself.�

�Next time, Ginny Weasley, you had best march straight into Madam Pomfrey�s office and take care of yourself. You gave Hermione such a fright! And we left Harry�s going away party, right in the middle of it! Your brothers were-�

Ginny felt her mouth go dry. �Harry�s going away?�

�Oh my dear, hadn�t he told you yet? He�s going to America, to help with their Auror program. He leaves later today. I had sent you an owl to see if you could come home for the dinner party we were having, but you must not of got it. Oh I swear, you will give me another scare before this year is through, won�t you? Just like your brothers-�

Ginny didn�t hear the rest of what her mother was saying. So, he was going to America. The distance between Hogwarts and London was apparently not enough for Harry Potter. She wondered if Cho was going with him. That would be perfect wouldn�t it? He runs into his old crush and then rushes her off to America. Such a storybook ending for the Boy who Lived. Ginny felt her stomach tightening and suddenly just wanted to go back to sleep.

Neville squeezed her hand then and their eyes met when she looked up. Somehow Neville knew what she was feeling. She smiled gratefully at him. He stood up and looked at her parents.

�Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, I�m Neville Longbottom, I don�t know if you remember me or not-�

�Of course we do, Neville. Thank you for looking over Ginny like you were. Hermione told us you were the one that found her-�

At this, Ginny stirred, embarrassment hot on her cheeks. Neville had been the one to find her?

�Er, yes. She had missed Herbology which I knew was really unlike her, so I went to find out where she was,� Neville turned to her and Ginny didn�t see judgment on his face, only tenderness and acceptance. �I just wanted to make sure she was okay. She works really hard at her classes and her duties and I know sometimes she forgets to take care of herself.�

Ginny felt tears behind her eyes. She didn�t deserve anyone to be this nice to her.

She watched as Neville led her parents out of the hospital wing, her Mum thanking him once again for being so nice to their daughter. They didn�t know the half of it.

When Neville returned, he smiled shyly at her and nodded to the Pepper-Up Potion Madam Pomfrey had left. Ginny dutifully took it and smiled as she choked it down.

�Ugh, I will never get use to the taste of that stuff.�

�It�s good for you though. It�ll make you... stronger,� Neville said quietly as he sat down next to her bed. His hand strayed onto the top of the blanket and Ginny took it into hers. She looked down and noticed small blue pouch around her neck.

�Neville, what�s this? Did Hermione-?�

Neville blushed. �No. I put that there. It�s just some herbs. I thought it would help you as you were sleeping. It�s balm of dill and elder, mixed with cedar. It helps protects the wearer against bad dreams and wards off evil. Is it okay that I made it?�

Ginny smiled kindly at him.

�I think I knew it was there, somehow. I smelled cedar where I was, I think...thank you, Neville. For everything. For watching over me and finding me. For so being nice to me. I�m afraid I really don�t deserve it.�

�Nonsense... you�re... you�re Ginny. You deserve it all.�

Neville seemed so earnest and so open for once, that Ginny felt bad about pulling her hand away, but she did.

�Oh Neville, you and I both know how you found me. I was...�

�You were sleeping in your bed,� Neville said quietly.

I was naked in my bed, Ginny thought to herself, her skin flushing.

�Yes, but-�

�Look, Ginny, I... know I�m not the smartest of people, but I can figure some things out. Besides, I... I spoke to...the boy you�d...been with.�

Ginny gasped. �Neville, what are you talking about?�

�I caught him bragging to some sixth years in the Gryffindor Common Room. I was... I wasn�t lying when I told your parents I was worried about you missing class. I was going to check on you. But I overheard him talking and... he wasn�t being very nice, Ginny, or very chivalrous. I told him to stop lying about you and he told me to go and see, that you were knocked out from... it. That he had worn you out... he sounded really proud of himself.�

Ginny bit her lip and raised her hand up to hide her face. Louis had been talking about her, in the common room? Before he had left, he had promised not to mention anything to anyone. She should have known. Ginny felt so embarrassed. The disgrace of being talked about like a piece of meat and by being found out by Neville, of all people, made her turn crimson in shame.

Ginny looked down, away from Neville�s kind eyes and wanted the world to swallow her whole.

�Did he hurt you, Ginny? Because I told him I would get him kicked out of school if I found out he had.�

Ginny had no words. You stupid, stupid girl, she thought to herself.

�No. What happened between Louis and me was...consensual.�

A long silence filled the room and Ginny bit her lip, trying not explode with shame.

�It�s okay, Ginny. I...I won�t tell anyone, if you don�t want me to.�

Ginny shook her head and felt the tears fall onto her face.

�Oh Neville. How can you stand to look at me? Why do you bother? I treat you badly! I�ve treated everyone badly. I got involved with Louis and I let him... I let him do things to me and I should have more self-respect than that! But I was so angry with Harry for something and I was so desperate to prove that I was grown up and I did the first stupid thing... the one thing that proves I am still just a little girl.�

Ginny sobbed into the quiet of the hospital wing for a moment, her sobs echoing off the walls. After she had stopped for a bit, Neville held out a tissue for her to use. She took it, but didn�t meet his eyes. She couldn�t bear to see disapproval and pity from Neville Longbottom.

�You don�t treat me bad, Ginny. You make me stick up for myself and you always correct me when I say I�m not important. Sometimes... sometimes when I�m feeling as though I�m nothing, I remember that you think I�m somebody and that�s all that matters. So I try to do things like how you would do them, because you are the most honest person I�ve ever met. Even though I don�t understand why or what happened between you and him, I reckon that if you wanted to feel something because you were angry with Harry, then I reckon that it was the right thing to do at the time. Because everything you do Ginny, you do for the right reasons.�

Ginny looked at Neville through tear-filled eyes in astonishment. She was honest? She did the right things? Sleeping with Louis had been the right thing? She didn�t think so. She shook her head.

�Oh, Neville. I truly don�t deserve to have you as a friend.�

Neville smiled at her, a sweet, innocent smile and Ginny felt her heart break just a little bit more.

�It doesn�t matter if you think you deserve me or not, Ginny, because I�m always going to be here for you, if you let me.�

Ginny nodded and was surprised when Neville pulled her into his arms. It seemed such a forward move from the shy man, but then she reckoned that after everything that had happened, Neville had finally found his courage to reach out. She buried her head into his shoulder and she cried for the innocence that she had thrown away in one stupid decision. She cried for everything that she had lost.

Harry watched as Donald Fagan spoke with the ship�s captain. They were leaving soon and although they were traveling �wizard style� to America, Harry had no idea what that meant. He didn�t know if wizard boats traveled any faster than Muggle ones and right now he didn�t care.

Harry felt empty inside and it was more than just having said goodbye to everything and everyone that he knew.

It was what he had overhead at Hogwarts, what he had seen.

He supposed it was fitting that Ginny hadn�t needed him at all. Just one more thing off your shoulders, right Potter? A nasty little voice in his head whispered at him. He�d been a fool, rushing off to Hogwarts under the guise that he was what Ginny had needed. He had imagined her under some dark spell that only he could break. How readily he had accepted the cape of crusader for her. After all of his words to the contrary, Harry had realized he cared very much what happened to Ginny Weasley.

Not that it mattered anymore.

He hadn�t heard all of it, but he had heard enough. Neville had been comforting Ginny and that was it and whatever else was going on, Harry wasn�t a part of it. Ginny had Hermione and her family and most obviously Neville, to look after her, she didn�t need him at all.

It was the thing he�d been hoping for, wasn�t it? For Ginny to get over him and on with her life?

So why did he feel as though he�d lost something important?

He hadn�t told Hermione what he had seen in the hospital wing, he had only told her that Ginny was okay, that she was awake. Then he had hugged his friend goodbye and left. Hermione had called after him, but he hadn�t looked back.

That morning, eating breakfast with the Weasley�s, who were all relieved that Ginny was okay, had been hell. But he had gotten through it and gone through the motions of saying goodbye. Once or twice, Ron had looked at him with a question on his face, but Harry didn�t want to explain himself. He reckoned Hermione would fill Ron in about their pointless escapade in due time.

He felt like a world-class git and he wondered if it was because that not only had Ginny obviously not needed him, but she obviously had weaker feelings for him then he�d thought. And it also seemed that out of all the people in the world, Neville Longbottom would end up being the one to get the girl.

As soon as he thought it, he felt ashamed of himself.

But he had watched the way Ginny held Neville�s hand and the tenderness in their looks and Harry had felt a twist in his stomach that he had never identified before. It was jealousy, pure and simple.

He may not have wanted to love Ginny, but in that moment as he watched them, he realized he didn�t want anyone else to do it either.

Harry reckoned that not only did these thoughts make him a terrible friend but it also made him a terrible person.

It�s for the best, the little voice whispered to him as he made his way onto the boat, after the nod from Fagan. She�ll be happy without you. Just like you always said she would be.

Harry looked out at the great expanse of the ocean and sighed.

�Excited, Harry?� Fagan asked, startling him out of his misery.

�A bit. Will it take long to get there?�

�No, this boat�s been ah.. modified for us to travel quickly from port to port. I�ve arranged for the captain to bring us into port right off the coast of our school. It�s quite a sight to behold, if I do say so myself.�

Harry pasted a smile on his face and nodded his head.

With too many questions in his heart and mind, Harry turned his back to the way he had come and looked out across the wide ocean.

It seemed he had messed up the past and now, the present. He hoped the future would hold the answers.